Dhan dhana dhan goal-review

Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal turns out to be a film about noise and nose. The noisy background score tries to infuse “emotions” in otherwise caricature scenes and the sunny hero John Abraham keeps hurting his nose, writes Bikas Mishra

After watching Lagaan, Iqbal and Chak De India, if you thought sports underdog drama is the recipe to set box office on fire, you’re wrong. No other movie could prove it better than Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal.

It’s evident from the first ten minutes that the director wants nothing else but to capitalize on the recent successes of the genre, hence he takes no trouble of setting up the story. Things are sorted out from the very beginning. We know the story from the word go of the Goal and the director seems to have no qualms about it. Hence Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal turns out to be a film about noise and nose. The noisy background score tries to infuse “emotions” in otherwise caricature scenes and the sunny hero John Abraham keeps hurting his nose.

Do I need to tell you the plot, if you feel so, then here it is: an underdog English football team, surprisingly made of only Asians, need to win the championship to save their club. Every twist in the plot is a cliché.

The film is not only stupid and silly but it’s also highly jingoistic. Perhaps the only novelty the director tries to bring in is that here the underdog saga envelops the whole south east Asia and the team is made of Pakistanis, Bangladeshis and Indians. Britons are the villains, who’re racists and keep dropping talented Indian players from their teams. Even the city council mayor plots to take away the club ground to sell it off to a Punjabi builder. Despite every other Englishmen being racists, interestingly the coach and captain both have English wives!

Bipasha, plays the team doctor. She’s the sister of the captain and is in love with the star striker John. She has really got the most stupid role in the film, where she has to say silly dialogues, call herself “an asshole” and compare herself to a “football” to prove her point. Poor girl, a talent wasted.

Except some jokes and football match sequences, the film is really crappy. I wonder how intelligent actors like Boman Irani, Arshad Warsi and even John for that matter accepted to act in it.

The real problem of Goal lies nowhere else but in the script, that no actor, dialogue writer could salvage. IMDB credits say Anurag Kashyap wrote the dialogues, except a few lighter moments even they sounded cheap and sad.

A highly disappointing film. I wasted my precious more than two hours, if you want to do so, Go(al) Ahead!!